Ode to Big Brothers

 Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

 My brother is like none other. Such a character, so "tell it like it is" to his sister, but so tender-hearted and genuinely kind. I have been tormented and doted on in the same afternoon. I have laughed till I thought my guts would fall out (in childhood and adulthood), fought the hardest (in childhood and adulthood, I hate to admit), with Sam. I look up to him with so much admiration and respect.

Sam was always the ringleader, whether directing the "lion tamer" game, "spaceships", playing pranks like putting a snake into my kiddie pool, or telling the funniest jokes. (Dare I talk about "The Burgler?"...ask him about it. ;) )

Already showing love, already making me laugh

Last summer, not much has changed :)

I am grateful to have Sam as the one who knows it all, sees it from the same perspective, and who I can call an amazing friend still. What a good man.

Picture Challenge

I've been wanting to blog more. To take a breather and get my current stirrings out on pap--...er, screen. So when I saw that my friend Jessi had started a 31-day picture challenge, I wanted in. What a good way to get into the rhythm of blogging more often. So here goes: Day 1!

Day 01 – A picture of yourself with ten facts.

1. I LOVE sunshine! (And was made for sunny days!)
2. I love to sing!
3. I love trying new things...cooking new things, trying new foods, seeing new places.
4. I am motivated at the beginning of a project and struggle to finish things well.
5. I love sleeping! (I have to literally drag myself out of bed in the morning, grr.)
6. Folksy acoustic is my favorite kind of music; deep lyrics wrapped around sleepy melodies...yes, please!
7. Grey is my (new-ish) favorite color. I have to intentionally choose to wear different colors at least one day a week or I would dress myself entirely in grey.
8. I am optimistic and hopeful most of the time and feel completely off if I'm having a down day.
9. I value authenticity and openness.
10. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a "Candy Store Maker" when I grew up.

The Art of Having Difficult Conversations

Two weeks ago was the week of difficult conversations. Ugh. It was exhausting, frankly. And awkward. And  pain-inflicting. Then the difficult conversations didn't stop, but seeped right on into the next week. I don't expect they'll stop any time soon. Leadership is demanding, requiring steel guts and thick skin with tenderness and humility; also, the skill of being direct, even when it's so difficult to plow into the hard conversation.

I hate hurting people yet I am reminded of the Proverb that says, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." It's an issue of love and depth of relationship, saying the hard thing. I'm not even talking about "tough love" here, but true love. Loving well.

I do not enjoy difficult conversations. But I have learned along the way that steering away from them often leads to an uglier mess than leaning in, so I am trying to handle it with as much grace as I can gather up. Communicating well is an art; one that I humbly submit myself to. Here's to mastering the art of difficult conversations...even when it sucks.

...truly Life

I already know this about myself, but I get inspired easily and excited on the front end of something new and that lasts about, oh, ten minutes... Twelve if it's a really good idea (like a mustache party). Today I had the unique and rich opportunity to spend the whole day retreating with seven other pastors in various denominations and roles serving right here in this community. Besides the witty theological banter and sweet fellowship in a cozy, fire-warmed home, my favorite part was reflecting and writing a prayer for my own soul followed by reflecting and writing a prayer for my "flock". As I confessed my desire for fresh water to be washed through me, and as we shared our prayers with one another, inspiring each other to greater depths, rest was restored and God's presence felt. Then the beauty of praying my big dreams for students woke up in me again and I was completely stirred without even having enough words to put on what I desire for them. As Paul prayed, that his flock would know how high and wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, I felt that desire and prayed that it would go into students' core, this knowledge of God's love. Oh, what a swell of excitement! So be it, Lord, and Amen!

Reflecting on this beautiful day shared, I am re-inspired to stay inspired. I am always charged up after meeting together with other campus groups, peers in ministry, receiving training--heck, even having a deep conversation on a regular day--and this brings my vision into sharp focus again. I can see life being breathed back into who I am and what I do. I want to challenge myself to get inspired, to hold these life-breathing things right in front of me. To write prayers of vision, to ask for more dreams. Beyond keeping a machine running or just adding more to the calendar, I want to grab hold of what is truly Life and dream that for those around me.


Here are a few excerpts from today's prayers...

Prayer for my soul:
"Refresh by your Spirit, make me not weary in well doing, but rested and filled to overflowing, like rivers that teem with life. Spark imagination, creativity, vitality as I walk in your excellent Way. I hide my very self in you. Good Father, take the burden of task, of responsibility, and carry that. I understand the weight and significance of my life and role, but your name, God, is weightier. Take the burden and the glory."

Prayer for my sheep:
"I want them to know you, to know your love way down into the marrow of their bones, under their skin, rooted like an oak in their gut. I want your light to dance in their eyes, to glow out of their unveiled faces. Oh, that they would chase you and you would show up right in our midst. That your rule and reign would be established right here, your kingdom touching us and changing the very color of life around us. May they grab hold of what is truly Life and change the world."

AMEN

Clinging to summer

Last night I was visiting with a friend and looking through her wedding photos...11 CDs of wedding photos. I had the privilege of being [most holy] maid of honor in her wedding in August and it was so fun to relive the hot August day, the anticipation, the joy, the laughter, right down to the tired feet. So, I haven't posted for a loooooong time, and I doubt anyone follows this except friends who love me, but I wanted to post a few photos to share in the moment.

Getting the beautiful bride into her beautiful dress

Helping with the important things  :)

I think this is when I was "helping her smile" (read: "pinching her behind")

Krysty (the fantastic photographer) thought it would be funny to take the awkward "I've been smiling so long now it's uncomfortable and unnatural". Hilarious.

Hip girls with hip pockets

The groom

 Father of the bride laughing because he forgot his line...what a great shot, Krysty!

You're maaaaarrriiiieeeeedd! Yay!

Too much dancing in dyed shoes

Congratulations to you, my friends!

The Sanctuary

Low-quality photos of my summer project--turning the master bedroom into my own space. I'm pretty excited about how it turned out. I'm still getting settled, so these are just first-pics to show the colors. Fun, fun!

Wall color

Walk in closet

Looking into bathroom

Funky bathroom curtain

 You may notice how the lighting changes the look. I love that! The main wall color looks like seven different shades depending on which wall and the time of day and all of them are calming. The closet isn't a true representation of the color, but it's like walking into the sea...ahh, paradise.

The In-Betweens

I just moved...and between unpacking, trying to shrink the pile in the living room, dreaming about the sanctuary I'm creating, and settling, I read some friends' blogs and found an interesting personality quiz (thanks, Barb!). I clicked on the site and it said it would take 30 minutes-- I know, 30 minutes on a personality quiz?! I said I wasn't going to waste my precious time on it...but then I clicked in anyway, swearing I would defy the 30 minute average. My results?


I'm not sure what I think yet of what it says about me. I'm reading through the fine print, analyzing myself. :) You take it and let me know what you think...if it sounds accurate to your personality. (By the way, it didn't take me 30 minutes, so be encouraged that it's a good use of your time and curiosity. ;) )