Clinging to summer

Last night I was visiting with a friend and looking through her wedding photos...11 CDs of wedding photos. I had the privilege of being [most holy] maid of honor in her wedding in August and it was so fun to relive the hot August day, the anticipation, the joy, the laughter, right down to the tired feet. So, I haven't posted for a loooooong time, and I doubt anyone follows this except friends who love me, but I wanted to post a few photos to share in the moment.

Getting the beautiful bride into her beautiful dress

Helping with the important things  :)

I think this is when I was "helping her smile" (read: "pinching her behind")

Krysty (the fantastic photographer) thought it would be funny to take the awkward "I've been smiling so long now it's uncomfortable and unnatural". Hilarious.

Hip girls with hip pockets

The groom

 Father of the bride laughing because he forgot his line...what a great shot, Krysty!

You're maaaaarrriiiieeeeedd! Yay!

Too much dancing in dyed shoes

Congratulations to you, my friends!

The Sanctuary

Low-quality photos of my summer project--turning the master bedroom into my own space. I'm pretty excited about how it turned out. I'm still getting settled, so these are just first-pics to show the colors. Fun, fun!

Wall color

Walk in closet

Looking into bathroom

Funky bathroom curtain

 You may notice how the lighting changes the look. I love that! The main wall color looks like seven different shades depending on which wall and the time of day and all of them are calming. The closet isn't a true representation of the color, but it's like walking into the sea...ahh, paradise.

The In-Betweens

I just moved...and between unpacking, trying to shrink the pile in the living room, dreaming about the sanctuary I'm creating, and settling, I read some friends' blogs and found an interesting personality quiz (thanks, Barb!). I clicked on the site and it said it would take 30 minutes-- I know, 30 minutes on a personality quiz?! I said I wasn't going to waste my precious time on it...but then I clicked in anyway, swearing I would defy the 30 minute average. My results?


I'm not sure what I think yet of what it says about me. I'm reading through the fine print, analyzing myself. :) You take it and let me know what you think...if it sounds accurate to your personality. (By the way, it didn't take me 30 minutes, so be encouraged that it's a good use of your time and curiosity. ;) )

Dreams really do come true...

I'm digging in my closets and sifting through old boxes as I get ready to move (read: "throwing lots of things away" and "finding interesting ancient artifacts") and I actually found a tape voice recorder that I used a couple times in college. I will definitely be tucking it into my purse and taking it along on my drive tomorrow...er, this morning. I'll let all you readers know what strokes of genius spring forth.

The bug and why I need a voice recorder

I got the chance a few weekends ago to hear snippets of live music, which deeply satisfies my soul. Even when the genre isn't my fave and even when the musicians are less-than-profession (and sometimes especially then),  it moves in me, affects me, whispers longings. I walk away with more questions than I sat down holding.

 I've been doing a lot of driving. And when I get to driving, I get to thinking...and thinking...and praying...and thinking...and dreaming. I think of things I need to put on a "to do" list (some of them things I wish were on a "to don't" list). I think of things I need or want to tell people: "The sunshine on this drive is reminding me of you!" "Let's get coffee this week." Unfortunately texting and driving aside from killing people, really makes my parents agitated, so I try to refrain from this. Pulling out a notebook to keep track of thoughts is also tricky and treacherous. Hence why I need a voice recorder: to chronicle these flashes of brilliance (okay, I just mean the ideas).

Somewhere between Beaverhead Rock and Twin Bridges a few weeks ago, I was thinking about the creative process, writing, even performing, and how it always poses a risk. It always requires ripping open the shirt to expose bare breasts, so to speak: vulnerability. I've known this and ruminated on it many times before, but some sort of sunshine-drunk moment of joy made me willing to step into the risk in a new way; to really play, to be a fool, a child, to poke at my security and throw it off balance. I don't have much in my journal to show for it yet, but I've removed the mental barrier that had rusted the intimidating songwriting door shut. I'm willing for a while to sound cliche, to use a boring melody, to be okay with a few mediocre lines if it means doing it, getting it out, cutting out the rust, improving. I'll be singing closets full of silly songs before I uncover the gem I'm dreaming of, I'm sure, but I'm excited for the end result almost as much as I anticipate the beauty of the process.

Spring!

The sunshine and warmth invited me to write a haiku...

Soak it all in, skin
Warm nectar pulses through veins
Sweetly budding hope

Old Negatives

I've been writing in my journal (which I've, again, been trying to do more frequently) about some old memories that have resurfaced like a surprise attack after fading into the folds of my cortex for a while. And instead of observing more in the world around me like I said I was going to do, I've turned toward my memories, observing the subjects of those dusty old photographs.

The brain is a tricky thing, if you ask me, and sort of warps the picture on the negatives through time. To try and dig back into childhood memories, for example, is like piecing together a quilt of reality, experience, haze, the stories told about the experience, and on...it's not laid plain. I've been thinking on this manipulation the brain performs. Writing about the memories could truly be frustrating, since I'll never be able to remember in accurate, clear detail. Instead of bringing trial, though, it's been fun to re-tell the stories again through another lens (tricks from the brain included) and paint a new emotion or highlight a hiding piece...practice, exciting practice.

I'll try to be more observant still in my daily life around me, but for now it's fun to play with the old negatives in my brain...

Inspiration

I am easily inspired. I get inspired to become a runner, to be a good cook or learn new songs on the guitar. Now it's writing at the forefront. But with all of the aforementioned things, though there are ebbs and flows in my pursuit, they are all recurring.

Instead of waiting for the mood and inspiration to strike, I'm trying to write a little every day. At the moment, the scraps in my journal look like a hodge-podge garbage pile (really), but I've gotta work out the lactic acid, so to speak...so this is me feeling sore for a while. I'm also trying to keep the inspiration alive yet even-keeled (unlike the night inspiration struck while I was lying in my bed not sleeping, when I was dragged out of bed by creative force, nose-dived into a bin of old textbooks searching for my Imaginitive Writing book that I kept from Di Francis' class, and soaked it in like a pancake drinking syrup). In giving a few minutes each day to writing, I also am trying to devote a little time to reading material that will give me a boost of motivation. Today it was a snipet of Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.


"Writing taught my father to pay attention; my father in turn taught other people to pay attention and then to write down their thoughts and observations. One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around."


As a person who works with people most of the time and works independently some of the time, I know how to interact with people and to interact alone with my thoughts. As I was walking home this evening, I was realizing how little I observe throughout a day. So here's to a new challenge which will hopefully lead to fodder for the journal and eventually an inspired thought: paying attention. And here's to staying in the "flow"...

I will try to post some observations in the coming weeks... :)  What are some things you are observing around you?

The image

Why is it that I get stumped at the "About Me" every time? I know me, and I love words, so it shouldn't be hard to fill in a few short sentences about myself, about what I like, the "why" of a new blog.

I could ramble, I could say what I'm thinking, I could spew it all out and give the accurate picture of me. *grimace* Yet, I prefer to project the image-the smoky around the edges, photoshop the blemishes-image.

I have always desired to be a writer. A good writer. I want the words to come out in champagne poetry with the first pour. But this is not the truth. I have realized that good artists can not necessarily sketch anything they see without erasing, but instead they love to draw and give time to their craft until they begin to master it.

So this is what I am willing to do: put time into the craft of writing, to practice, to hone my skill, to present truth, to play and imagine, to fill pages upon pages to find a jewel of a thought. I don't want to wait till the words formulate just perfectly in my mind to create the "image"...the "look". Instead, I will get it out of my head, write it out with as many words as are needed, re-arrange it, pile more on top, scribble some out ...and write. Because I love writing. And someday I may become good at it.