...truly Life

I already know this about myself, but I get inspired easily and excited on the front end of something new and that lasts about, oh, ten minutes... Twelve if it's a really good idea (like a mustache party). Today I had the unique and rich opportunity to spend the whole day retreating with seven other pastors in various denominations and roles serving right here in this community. Besides the witty theological banter and sweet fellowship in a cozy, fire-warmed home, my favorite part was reflecting and writing a prayer for my own soul followed by reflecting and writing a prayer for my "flock". As I confessed my desire for fresh water to be washed through me, and as we shared our prayers with one another, inspiring each other to greater depths, rest was restored and God's presence felt. Then the beauty of praying my big dreams for students woke up in me again and I was completely stirred without even having enough words to put on what I desire for them. As Paul prayed, that his flock would know how high and wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, I felt that desire and prayed that it would go into students' core, this knowledge of God's love. Oh, what a swell of excitement! So be it, Lord, and Amen!

Reflecting on this beautiful day shared, I am re-inspired to stay inspired. I am always charged up after meeting together with other campus groups, peers in ministry, receiving training--heck, even having a deep conversation on a regular day--and this brings my vision into sharp focus again. I can see life being breathed back into who I am and what I do. I want to challenge myself to get inspired, to hold these life-breathing things right in front of me. To write prayers of vision, to ask for more dreams. Beyond keeping a machine running or just adding more to the calendar, I want to grab hold of what is truly Life and dream that for those around me.


Here are a few excerpts from today's prayers...

Prayer for my soul:
"Refresh by your Spirit, make me not weary in well doing, but rested and filled to overflowing, like rivers that teem with life. Spark imagination, creativity, vitality as I walk in your excellent Way. I hide my very self in you. Good Father, take the burden of task, of responsibility, and carry that. I understand the weight and significance of my life and role, but your name, God, is weightier. Take the burden and the glory."

Prayer for my sheep:
"I want them to know you, to know your love way down into the marrow of their bones, under their skin, rooted like an oak in their gut. I want your light to dance in their eyes, to glow out of their unveiled faces. Oh, that they would chase you and you would show up right in our midst. That your rule and reign would be established right here, your kingdom touching us and changing the very color of life around us. May they grab hold of what is truly Life and change the world."

AMEN

Clinging to summer

Last night I was visiting with a friend and looking through her wedding photos...11 CDs of wedding photos. I had the privilege of being [most holy] maid of honor in her wedding in August and it was so fun to relive the hot August day, the anticipation, the joy, the laughter, right down to the tired feet. So, I haven't posted for a loooooong time, and I doubt anyone follows this except friends who love me, but I wanted to post a few photos to share in the moment.

Getting the beautiful bride into her beautiful dress

Helping with the important things  :)

I think this is when I was "helping her smile" (read: "pinching her behind")

Krysty (the fantastic photographer) thought it would be funny to take the awkward "I've been smiling so long now it's uncomfortable and unnatural". Hilarious.

Hip girls with hip pockets

The groom

 Father of the bride laughing because he forgot his line...what a great shot, Krysty!

You're maaaaarrriiiieeeeedd! Yay!

Too much dancing in dyed shoes

Congratulations to you, my friends!

The Sanctuary

Low-quality photos of my summer project--turning the master bedroom into my own space. I'm pretty excited about how it turned out. I'm still getting settled, so these are just first-pics to show the colors. Fun, fun!

Wall color

Walk in closet

Looking into bathroom

Funky bathroom curtain

 You may notice how the lighting changes the look. I love that! The main wall color looks like seven different shades depending on which wall and the time of day and all of them are calming. The closet isn't a true representation of the color, but it's like walking into the sea...ahh, paradise.

The In-Betweens

I just moved...and between unpacking, trying to shrink the pile in the living room, dreaming about the sanctuary I'm creating, and settling, I read some friends' blogs and found an interesting personality quiz (thanks, Barb!). I clicked on the site and it said it would take 30 minutes-- I know, 30 minutes on a personality quiz?! I said I wasn't going to waste my precious time on it...but then I clicked in anyway, swearing I would defy the 30 minute average. My results?


I'm not sure what I think yet of what it says about me. I'm reading through the fine print, analyzing myself. :) You take it and let me know what you think...if it sounds accurate to your personality. (By the way, it didn't take me 30 minutes, so be encouraged that it's a good use of your time and curiosity. ;) )

Dreams really do come true...

I'm digging in my closets and sifting through old boxes as I get ready to move (read: "throwing lots of things away" and "finding interesting ancient artifacts") and I actually found a tape voice recorder that I used a couple times in college. I will definitely be tucking it into my purse and taking it along on my drive tomorrow...er, this morning. I'll let all you readers know what strokes of genius spring forth.

The bug and why I need a voice recorder

I got the chance a few weekends ago to hear snippets of live music, which deeply satisfies my soul. Even when the genre isn't my fave and even when the musicians are less-than-profession (and sometimes especially then),  it moves in me, affects me, whispers longings. I walk away with more questions than I sat down holding.

 I've been doing a lot of driving. And when I get to driving, I get to thinking...and thinking...and praying...and thinking...and dreaming. I think of things I need to put on a "to do" list (some of them things I wish were on a "to don't" list). I think of things I need or want to tell people: "The sunshine on this drive is reminding me of you!" "Let's get coffee this week." Unfortunately texting and driving aside from killing people, really makes my parents agitated, so I try to refrain from this. Pulling out a notebook to keep track of thoughts is also tricky and treacherous. Hence why I need a voice recorder: to chronicle these flashes of brilliance (okay, I just mean the ideas).

Somewhere between Beaverhead Rock and Twin Bridges a few weeks ago, I was thinking about the creative process, writing, even performing, and how it always poses a risk. It always requires ripping open the shirt to expose bare breasts, so to speak: vulnerability. I've known this and ruminated on it many times before, but some sort of sunshine-drunk moment of joy made me willing to step into the risk in a new way; to really play, to be a fool, a child, to poke at my security and throw it off balance. I don't have much in my journal to show for it yet, but I've removed the mental barrier that had rusted the intimidating songwriting door shut. I'm willing for a while to sound cliche, to use a boring melody, to be okay with a few mediocre lines if it means doing it, getting it out, cutting out the rust, improving. I'll be singing closets full of silly songs before I uncover the gem I'm dreaming of, I'm sure, but I'm excited for the end result almost as much as I anticipate the beauty of the process.

Spring!

The sunshine and warmth invited me to write a haiku...

Soak it all in, skin
Warm nectar pulses through veins
Sweetly budding hope