Too Much

Day 18 – A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Why is this so difficult? I definitely have insecurities, though I'm not sure there's a specific picture of them, let alone my biggest.

I think though, that if I had to pinpoint just one, and a big one, it would have to be the insecurity of being "too much." I think of the book Captivating:

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I’ve ever met feels it—something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone." (pp 6-7)

I know who I am and like who I am, but at times, there is a haunting echo in my head of being too much. Too overwhelming. Too aggressive. Too indecisive.

Thank you, Jesus, for knowing me fully and loving me. Thank you, amazing family and friends who reassure and encourage me.